Well, today is the day we checked off the last thing on our baby prep “to do” list – we found a pediatrician. After interviewing half a dozen doctors in the area, we finally settled on a mother/daughter ped practice about 8 minutes from our house. They’re fabulous – they accommodated our request for a zoom meeting (because pandemic, duh), answered all of our questions and made us really feel the passion they had in their profession. The cherry on top? They’re female, non-white doctors – sign us up!
It feels great to have everything done in terms of preparing for baby’s arrival. Now, I’m not naïve enough to think we’ve got it all figured out and are really prepared; I know that once baby boy or girl is born everything we think we know may or may not fly right out the window. But I’m oddly OK with that. I’m ready for this baby to test my patience, the trust I have in myself and the relationship I have with my husband. I’m ready for the challenge and I know this baby will be worth it all.
Over the past month or so I’ve wondered why I’m OK with the challenge. Why am I not worried? Why aren’t I panicking that I’m forgetting something or anxious about the fact that I’ll likely be a zombie for the first few weeks after baby arrives? Through some introspection and discussion with my husband, I’ve decided that it must be because we’re no strangers to challenge after the year 2020 has went (amirite?!). I think I speak for everyone when I say: WHAT. A. YEAR. It all started when we had to cancel our destination wedding in Charleston in April that we spent a year planning. We didn’t get to see family members we’ve been desperately missing (even before the pandemic started) from all over the world – India, South Korea, California, the east coast and so on. We planned everything down to a tee and at the last minute our plans got flipped on their head. We didn’t get the picture-perfect day on the river underneath the mossy oak tree that we planned for – we ended up with a small, outdoor in the freezing rain on the town hall steps, wedding in New England. Oh, and then a month later we were surprised (and delighted) to find out that we were pregnant.
That’s kind of like parenthood, right? You can plan and prep and think you’ve got it all figured out to only find out that it’s quite the opposite. So, again, I’m oddly at peace with the concept.
As 2020 winds down, I’m reflecting on the past year and looking forward to what’s to come. Sometime after January 18th (my induction date) I’ll welcome this little person into this big world. I’ll start the journey of finding out just who or what they might be and who or what I might turn into as I transition into motherhood. I’ve had a glimpse of myself as a mom to a teenage boy thanks to my stepson, but what kind of mom will I be to a biracial newborn and a young black man?
I can’t wait to find out!