I will forever and always need my life long, ride or die besties. We grew up together, got in trouble together, partied too hard together, cried together, grew apart and then came back together. They know everything about me and can probably describe me more accurately than I could describe myself. They are the Aunties to my child and the other daughters to my parents. They are the keepers to all my secrets and embarrassing moments and the ones I can be 100% myself around. Even though they are all that and more, I sometimes feel like they just don’t know me anymore.
Becoming a Mom changes a person. Not for the better or worse, you are just different. Your priorities change, your free time is no longer your own and those Sunday morning hangovers are DEFINITELY not worth it. Those “Mom Friends” you miraculously make the second after you give birth, they get it. They are on the same page and they’re mourning their old life just like you are. You can vent to them without feeling guilty about the words that are coming out of your mouth. You can cry for no reason without them thinking you need to be hospitalized. They have extra socks and teething toys for your kids when you forget the diaper bag at home and know just when to say “Hey, wanna order food?”. They are your people now.
Let me back up to the part where I said that you miraculously make these “Mom Friends” the second after you give birth. I know it’s a weird concept but it’s so true. I found myself relating to and reaching out to these acquaintances I had on social media, simply because they had a child. And guess what, turns out that’s not a weird concept. Mom’s love to talk to other Moms. We love to share unsolicited advice about breastfeeding and sleep training. We love to talk about our homemade baby food and the deal on diapers we got at Target. Are we annoying? Absolutely. But, we are all in this together. We roll our eyes at each other and then crack open that jarred baby food and scoop out that canned formula because we know “fed is best” and really, who cares as long as these babes are healthy. We can have differences of opinions or parenting styles and still offer to change the baby in a cloth diaper. We can dress our kid in Jacadi Paris and Baby Gap exclusively or score those $3.99 Garanimals outfits at Walmart. At the end of the day, we share a common bond – we’re all exhausted humans who are doing the best we can and trying to surround ourselves with people who get it.
Your Mom friends won’t question why you’re 45 minutes late or why you then have to leave within the next half hour. They know nap times are clutch and there’s literally nothing you wouldn’t sacrifice for that short window of peace and quiet to aimlessly scroll through social media. Mom’s rarely cancel plans because we are all dying to get out of the house and have the chance to speak in full sentences rather than baby sign language. But, if they do cancel plans, you don’t even question it because they really don’t need an excuse. Mom friends are your tribe. They will cut you slack and then give you a swift kick in the ass when you’ve been on the couch too long. They will love you and your kids, hard.
Ladies, please remember, even though these newfound Mom friends are your go to people day in and day out, your ride or dies should never be dismissed or forgotten. They are most likely mourning your old life too. They may even be jealous of your new mom friends and that sweet little baby you complain about. When they reach out and ask you about your weekend plans, don’t exclude them and don’t get mad if they don’t want to be included. Give them their space but don’t let them get too far out of arms reach. Yes, you are a Mom now but you’re still you and you still need that little piece of your past that only your childhood friends hold. They too will always love you and your kids, hard.